Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The List

I’m in a mad dash to get to the store Parked my car at the shopping center And rushed passed people With my list in hand Milk Eggs Juice Fruit Funny thing is I can’t find a single thing on my list Shoot But what I did find was him A few feet away All buffed and shit He waved I smiled In the middle of the aisle He approaches me but I don’t have time to chit chat He hugged me and I was smothered by His intoxicating scent of musk I gave him a light kiss on his cheek My knees began to fall weak I remember him from my past Back when I was young and fast We were friends Then we dated And we mated But we gone our own separate ways That was a few yesterdays ago And here we are today Would you like to check out our specials? He asked with that deep baritone that I loved so much Damn near melted as his hand touched The lower part of my spine I said that I didn’t have the time I need to get what’s on my list Juice Fruit Whipped cream Honey That wasn’t there before I can’t feel my feet touch the floor He always had that effect on me Floating on clouds I can hear my heart beat out loud In my chest I have some things that just came in Would you like to take a look? I was shook He was a delicious specimen of a man But flirting with him was not in my plan I’m here specifically to purchase what’s on my list Whipped cream Honey Massage oils Edible body paint Wait… I didn’t write this down I looked all around the store and haven’t seen what I originally came here for He did have all that I wanted and more I can’t… I shan’t… I got to… C’mon, I have something in the back that I know you would like He grabbed me by the hand You don’t understand I’m in a hurry It’s imperative that I get what’s on my list Massage oils Edible body paint Handcuffs Pop rocks Imagine my shock when I looked up and noticed That I wasn’t in the grocery store Instead I mistakenly went into the freaky sneaky shop Wondering how did my panties come off?

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Photo Challenge Dayy 11: New

Bought these bad boys this past Sunday.

Found these sexy silver glittery heels at Payless for $29.99.

Theyre very comfortable AND I can walk in them. Mind you I cant walk in heels.

I cant wait to rock these at the all white party.

Photo Challenge Day 10: High Angle

I may have done day 4 and day 10 incorrectly.

Oopsy!!!

So I had Jaylon stand in a chair while I layed on the couch taking what I thought was a high angle pic. Then I looked up the definitions.

Keep in mind im not a professional...

Nor am I not that bright... Lol

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Fwd: Photo Challenge Day 9: Morning

-------- Original message --------
Subject: Photo Challenge Day 9: Morning
From: Lisa Wiley <mswiley707@aol.com>
To: mswiley707.shhhhh@blogger.com
CC:

Alarm clock rings

Jaylon loudly sings

The same repetitive song

"When will breakfast be done?"

Not that long

Son...

Eggs are on the sink

I dont even wanna think

About cooking

Laying in bed looking

At the wall

Stand tall

Girl...

Get outta bed

Make sure Jay gets fed

So he can start his day

No way!!!

I'm lounging thru my last few hours of my vacay.


Copyright 2011. LeeLee Aint Msbehavin'©

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Photo Challenge Day 8: Feet.

Can someone hand me the shea butter lotion please?

*rubs ashy feet*

Thank you.

I love getting desings on my big toes. I try to get a pedi every two weeks, but if its winter time, then once a month.

I have real bad ankles due to a dance injury.

Years ago I dropped it like it was hot and when I dropped it, my ankles popped. I never went to the doctors and now theyre swollen.

Photo Challenge Day 7: Red.

What do you get when you combine orange blaze with radiant red... Lol

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Photo Challenge Day 6: Home.

Home sweet home...
I guess :-(
We've been living here going on 8 years in October. Youre looking at my balcony that faces highway 29. Once you drive through the "security" gates, i'm the first building to the left, on the second floor and the last door at the end of the hall to the left.
Did you get all of that... Lol
The transit center is in front of my apartments and i'm ten minutes away from my job and Jaylon's school. The gym is straight across the street and i'm surrounded by fast food restaurants. Kaiser hospital is up the street (two blocks) and six flags is five minutes away from my place.
If they didnt move in all of the hoes, thugs and ghetto ass niggroids up in here, it would be a VERY nice place.
Oh, did I mention they nicknamed my apartments "The Village?"
*walks away... disappointed*

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Photo Challenge Day 5: Guilty Pleasure

Since Kali already snagged facebook and Monica listed writing as their guilty pleasures, I guess i'll list this one as mine...

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

I'm single, so dont judge me...

But what you CAN do is donate to the cause...

Because I killededed another one :-(

R.i.p. Buddy...

We had some good times, didnt we?

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Photo Challenge Day 4: Low angle

This is what sits behind me while i'm sitting on the bench outside of Denny's on Sonoma Blvd as I wait for the Amtrak bus.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Photo Challenge Day 3: Sweet

Baby's first sugar...

I took this picture at my niece's 1st birthday party. My sister ordered a chocolate cake with fresh strawberries for the guests...

This lil number right here was especially made for the birthday girl.

Photo Challenge Day 2: Yellow

Went to the store this morning to buy some neckbones and walked passed this pretty bouquet.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

30 Day Photo Challenge Day 1: Me!!!

I'm not quite sure what you want, but i'll give it the ole try.

This is me... Lisa. Not LeeLee, the glammed up wannabe internet star who blogs and writes poetry while posting half naked pics to get the attention of men. Not the loud mouth midget with anger issues.

Just lil ole me.

Most of the time, I lay around the house, no makeup, hair not done, not even dressed. My life isnt that exciting. I'm currently laying in my bed, counting down to payday (Friday). I have .78¢ to my name, desperately searching for change around the house so I could purchase a .99¢ sweet tea from the liquor store up the street.

This pic was taken with my camera phone. I still havent gotten my digital camera out of the pawn shop... Lol

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 30 Series Finale: Live And Learn.

Did this love challenge teach you anything? If so/not, then what/why?

I didnt realize how hard it was going to be to write some of these blogs. I tried to be as real with my feelings as I could. In some of the blogs, I was a little TOO real. The love letter had me in tears half way through it. Day 29 had me come to the realization that I do want a relationship and I do want to be married. I dont want to grow old alone. The man I want is my soulmate I wrote about in my letter and I promise if I ever find him, I will read that letter to him on our wedding day.

What ive took from this challenge is that we are all deserving of love that is healthy, positive and helps you grow into a better person. I have alot of work to do on me. Im not as secure with myself as I lead yall to believe. Im slowly beginning to love myself, but im guilty of letting the opinions of outsiders beat me down. Never settle for less just for the sake of saying you have somebody. Know your worth. Your king or Queen will come.

Thank you Kali for allowing me to do this challenge... And it was a challenge in more ways than one. Thanks to the rest of you for sharing a part of your lives with me. You all are truly beautiful inside and out.

I love you all.

(((((HUGS)))))

Lisa

Friday, July 15, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 29: Thank You!

Write a love letter to your soulmate (whether you feel youve met them or not).

DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for any tears or heartfelt feelings that may occur during the reading of this blog. Certain emotions poured out and I may have wept ( just a tad). Keep in mind that im still a thug and thugs has feelings. Just want yall to know that its all KALI'S fault!

Now on to my blog.

Dearest Love,

Today is the day that all of my questions were answered, my fantasies came to reality and my life became complete.

So many years have passed since I began my search for you. Ive searched the highest of highs and hit the lowest of lows. I never thought in a million years that I would ever receive the gift that God has bestowed onto me.

The Lord knew my heart and sent me the perfect piece to my unfinished puzzle. Ive been blessed through my life with two angels whose love got me through the toughest of times and a mother who was a great role model and has been there for me through it all. But something was still missing. With God's guidance, he led us to each other and now my puzzle is complete.

My cup runneth over with happiness, laughter and of course love. Love that I didnt think I was deserving of. I use to think the emptiness in my heart was my punnishment for not giving my life to God. But HE is a kind, loving and forgiving God. Once I started loving myself, then and only then was love able to find me.

I want to thank God first and formost for never giving up on this lost soul of a woman.

I thank you for being the man that I needed. You never judged and you loved me despite my past or what others thought of me. Thank you for stepping into not only my life, but my sons lives and doing the job that their fathers never did. They have so much love and respect for you. For the first time, we have a real family.

Im just sorry that my mom never got the chance to meet you. She would have loved you. I wished she could have seen what I see in you. A man of the highest integrity, love for his family and the upmost respect for his parents.

Standing here by your side, in this church with our family, friends and God present, I know youre my soulmate and I will spend the rest of my life making you proud that you chose me as your wife.


I Love You!

Love & Truth Challenge Day 28: Fuck Friends.

If you had a choice between a love relationship and just sex (guaranteed)... Which would you choose?

Ive done the whole love and relationship thing and that didnt work. Now I know that im a woman of a particular age and I shouldnt be fuckin around, but hell, this woman of a particular age has needs...

I need to bust a nut!

I need to get my perm sweated out!

I need to get my back blown out!

I need for you to take your black ass home after im done with you!

What I dont need is the headache of wondering where my man is whenever he isnt home!

I dont need the hassle of working at something that nine times out of ten isnt going to work!

I dont need to feel my legs.

I am a woman of a particular age with needs and if I keep getting what ive been getting lately in my bedroom...

I CHOOSE SEX!!!

Love & Truth Challenge Day 27: It Sucks To Be You Right Now.

Does anyone you've broke up with still love and pursue you?

Yes, but I think its a game to him. We still talk, because truthfully, its so damn hard for me to let go. Thats always been my problem. He says he wants to work things out. I think its just the loneliness talking, because if there was a woman in his life, he wouldnt be talking to me. He moved to the east coast and doesnt know anybody, so we talk daily. He talks about reconciling, but I dont want to. With him being thousands of miles away and us lacking the funds to visit, makes it easier for me to get over him. With all the shit that has happened with us, I will NEVER trust him with my heart again. I know what I need to do, but its hard to do it. How do I cut my bestie out of my life? We are GREAT friends, even greater lovers, but we made a horrible couple. He still makes me smile and laugh, but the thought of no Anthony makes me cry. But im also still filled with anger and wants him to hurt like he hurt me. Thats not healthy! Shouldnt I have a forgiving heart? Do I take him back? Should I stand by my man and cross my fingers that he's changed? Should I let him go completely and move on? Is "she" really a threat or am I that insecure with myself that im overreacting?

My mind keeps telling me to go, but my heart wants to stay. That vengeful hearted alter ego of mine keeps singing that new Beyonce song, "The Best Thing I Never Had."

I HATE Bitchyonce... But im feeling the song.


The Best Thing I Never Had Lyrics

What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)

There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy I, must've been outta my mind
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you

Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
So baby good lookin' out

[Chorus]
I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had
I bet it sucks to be you right now

So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears
I guess that's why they ain't there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you

Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
Baby good lookin' out

[Chorus]
I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
I said, you turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'll never be the best thing you never had
Oh baby I bet sucks to be you right now

I know you want me back
It's time to face the facts
That I'm the one that's got away
Lord knows that it would take another place, another time, another world, another life
Thank God I found the good in goodbye

[Chorus]
I used to want you so bad
I'm so through it that
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I will always be the, best thing you never had.
Best thing you never had!

I used to want you so bad
I'm so through it that
Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
Oh you turned out to be the best thing I never had
Oh I will never be the best thing you never had
Oh baby, I bet it sucks to be you right now

Goes around, comes back around
Goes around, comes back around
Bet it sucks to be you right now
Goes around, comes back around
Bet it sucks to be you right now
Goes around, comes back around
Bet it sucks to be you right now

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 26: Here's To You, Mrs. Robinson...

If your young daughter or son came to you and told you they were in love with someone your age... What would your response be?

I aint even gonna lie, I might bust out with...

"LAWD GEEZUS NO!!! I knew this day would come!!! I knew that fat bitch Karma had my address and would be coming through unfuckinannounced. See, I know what this is about!! Its about all those times I invited those 18-20 year olds over and offered them some of my candy. I was a baaaaad bitch in my 30's and the only thing old I wanted back then was... Well, tell you the truth, I didnt like old shit PERIOD!!! Now you bring your wet-behind-the-ears ass up in MY house to tell me youre in love with that old hussy... GTFOH with that shit! She too old to give you kids! She aint got no damn eggs and her titties are full of powdered milk. You cant take her to the club and buy her a drink!!! I still gotta tell you to clean your room. Your cartoon watching, Yugi-oh backpack carrying, fruity pebbles cereal eating ass needs to try it again son!!"

Well, thats what I would think in my head as I roll my eyes and walk off.

Love & Truth Challange Day 25: Mommy/Daddy, What Is Love?

Looking back on your life... who taught you the most about what love is/isnt?

Without even realizing it, these two people gave me lessons about love (or lack there of) that nobody else could. Just sitting back and observing the differences between the two.

What love is: Mom (1950-2006). My mom was a lady in every sense of the word. She married my dad when she was 17 and they seperated a year or two later. She loved my dad. Even though they lived apart most of their 21 year marriage, she didnt sleep around or went out. She stayed true to her vows. She was only intimate with him when he came around. Even though he flaunted his women around on the street, she always told me and my siblings to love and respect him, at the same time pleading with him to be in his children's lives before its too late. After the divorce, she was celibate for 7 years before she met her 2nd husband Weldon (r.i.p.). He had a long battle with drugs, which is why she didnt marry him at first. But being a woman of God and giving birth to my little sister, she didnt want to live in sin. That and she did love him. But soon after they married, he was with different women as well, so she left him. My mom had a loving and forgiving heart. She was a good wife, but she gave it to people who didnt deserve it.

What love isnt: Dad (1946-2009). Dad married my mom when he was 21. He was a welder who eventually started his own business. Mom left him early into the marriage because of his cheating, abusive and wild ways. He married three more times after they divorced and he cheated on all of them. There was one woman who stood by his side during all of his marriages. She even supposively had his son and he still didnt marry her. He married some chic he knew only 6 months, he been on and off with stephanie for 30 years. 30 years pining over a man who never married her. That man was a womanizer til the end... Well, until he met wife #4, who was younger than me. She dogged that nigga out and had a baby with some other nigga. Karma is a BITCH!!!

Seeing how my mom was loving and kind and my dad was a manwhore, you would think I would learn from their marriage and other relationships. I dont know why I did half the shit (or men) that I did. Fuckin everybody will not lead you to a life long mate, and I knew that! You would think I would follow in my mom's footsteps and carry myself like a lady and treat my body like a temple. Even though my dad didnt sit me down and teach me how to have self love and respect, that didnt mean that it was his fault either. I knew better and still do. I wasnt looking for a father figure, because they were younger than me. Out of all the guys ive dated/fucked, a couple may have loved me. But for the rest who didnt, I knew they didnt, but I fucked them anyway. Im not sure what I was looking for, or if I was looking for anything at all. I wouldnt know love if it bit me in the ass. Sex couldnt fill the void that I had. Harping over the wasted years of not being appreciated wont bring them back either. We dont get a "do over" in life.

After many men and STD's, one has to say to themselves...

Love wont find you until you love yourself. So until then, keep the legs closed, while the mind and eyes are open.

I guess, in a nutshell, love is forgiving and grows into something warm and beautiful. Love is patient and takes time to grow into that beautiful feeling that only God can give by bringing you the right mate... And having God in your life.

Love shouldnt hurt. It shouldnt be a struggle. Love cant be forced or bought.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 24: Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

Have you ever broken anyone's heart?

I did once. Looking back, I should have done things differently.

A few years ago, I persued one of the teachers at my school. He was in his mid 50's, single father raising his two young sons, all the kids at school liked him. He was a real cool cat. We ended up going out. He was trying to take things slow, but I rushed a sexual relationship. After our first night together, he told me that he hasnt been intimate with a woman in two years. He planned get togethers with us and our kids. When it looked like he was getting serious, I sabotaged everything. I didnt call him all summer. I even changed my number. When school started that fall, you can tell he was upset. I should have been a woman and told him straight out how I felt. That wasnt fair to him. I didnt feel good about the way I treated him.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 23: Happily Ever After?

Do you think love and marriage are synonymous?

Nope!!!

Me and my ex bitch just had a loooooooong discussion about this very topic and we both disagree.

He says it does go hand in hand because everybody wants to marry the person that they love and spend the rest of their lives together. This is the same nigga who married twice and cheated on both of them.

I dont want to get married! Ive always dreamed of my wedding with the beautiful dress, beautiful location and all eyes on me...

I just didnt want the husband.

People nowadays get married NOT for love, but because theyre lonely or because all of their friends are married or for money. My mom married twice while my dad married four times. Seeing how all their relationships ended, i'm cool on marriage. Its ruined for me! I dont even think I want to live with a dude.

There are some people who take the institution of marriage VERY seriously, while others go through the motions of reciting the vows and throwing that brass ring on their finger just for the hell of it!

If I was in a loving relationship and I was proposed to then I would get married. But since i'm still scorned from that last fiasco, i'm good!

Love & Truth Challenge Day 22: Romantic Interlude: Take 1.

*Create the perfect love scene*



She had a long day at work and was counting down to 5pm. A messenger delivered a letter to her. It had directed her to go to the limo and a time to meet. Later that evening, she arrived at the hotel, where the hotel clerk gave her another note, directing her to room 247 and a key. As she walked into the room, she noticed champaign chilling, rose pedals on the bed and a colorful assortment of fruit and cheese. Room service came to the door with another note. It said there was a bubble bath waiting for her. She soaked in the water and slowly bathed. She noticed another note taped on the mirror telling her to go to the ajoining room. She dried off and put on a robe, then proceeded to the next room where there was a masseuse waiting for her. She layed on the table face down and the masseuse started giving her a massage. The masseuse excused herself for a brief moment. She layed on the table eyes closed when she noticed a pair of strong hands rubbing her. A familiar voice whispered in her ear. She looked up and to her surprise her husband was standing there...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY LOVE!!!

*and cut*

Friday, July 8, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 21: Road Trip.


What is the most romantic location you would like to visit?

Jamaica....

Warm weather, beautiful beaches, clean water, blue skies and colorful flowers everywhere you turn.

If I ever get my money right, I would love to go. Do some shopping, hit the clubs and have relations with a real life jamaican.

Who wants to donate to my cause? LOL

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 20: Love You From Afar?

Do you believe in long distance love/computer love? Why or why not?

It's not for everybody. I tried it for a year with my ex bitch. He lived in L.A. and I live in Vallejo. Even though it was only an hour plane ride, I was scared to do planes, so we went nine hours back and forth on the train. Money was an issue for both of us, so we alternated once a month. He did pay for everything, but still. With the combination of limited funds, distance and trust issues (mainly because of his cheating) it didnt work. Now he lives in Florida claiming he wants us to work it out. Reality is, if it didnt work with both of us living in California, it sure as hell wont work with us on each end of the coasts and our old issues hasnt been resolved. I still love him though. I wish I could just get over him already.

Now those of you who know me from 360, has heard me go on and on about my jamaican. He lived in Florida and we had a hot and heavy internet romance. We never did meet in person. We spent hours every day IM'ing each other while texting while talking on the phone. He did keep it real with me and said that when we would be face to face, there would no other woman around, but when we're apart, he would still do what he do. I couldnt be mad about that.

Even though I cared about both of them, if I could do things over, I wouldnt even attempt a long distance relationship.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 19: My Love For The "S" Word.

What do you love to do the most?

*seductive grin*

In a word...

SEX!!!!!

I love EVERYTHING about sex!

I love talking about sex!

I love having sex!

I love that he loves having sex with moi!

I love being videotaped having sex!

I love writing about sex!

I love reciting poetry about sex!

I love going on road trips that end with me having sex!

I love watching movies with people having sex!

I love eating food that reminds me a performing lewd sexual acts!

*example: popscicle, banana*

I love the way the word "sex" rolls off my tongue!

{record scratch}

The diet I started over the weekend has seriously fucked with my social skills and made me incompetent to write a semi decent blog.

My sincere apologies. Hopefully i'll do better on day 20.

*for the record I love to write, eat & travel*

Monday, July 4, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 18: You, Me & He.

Have you ever been in a love triangle... with you as the object of desire?

I juggled dating two men at the same time, but they never found out about each other, because they both lived in different cities.

I was goooooood ;-)

But as far as two men fighting over me, that has never happened.

Love & Truth Challenge Day 17: Weeeeee Stiiiiiiiiiiiiill Together.

Do you think young people can fall in love and it be true?

It depends on the people involved. Some think that theyre in love, but when adult problems arise, they cant handle it.

My mom got married at 17 and my dad was 21. She was very mature for her age, and when my dad started acting up, she took me and left. Dad was messing around with different women and my mom wasnt having it. They were married for 20 years and seperated half that time. She never smoked, drinked, partied or had men over, just my dad. He wasnt mature enough to accept the love my mom had for him. Through the years, you could tell that my dad still loved her, and when she died, part of his heart died with her :-(.

I have a handful of friends who got together young and made it work.

I met my best friend Sally in high school. At that time she was dating Sal. They had their ups and downs, but love conquered all and after over 23 years together and two kids, they made it. Its funny because whenever they had a disagreement, Sal would call me going off because Sally pissed him off for whatever reason. I would always tell him, "nobody wants y'all but y'all." I knew way back then that they loved each other and that it wasnt just a passing fad. Here they are years later and stiiiiiiiiill together. Sally's sisters also married young and their relationships stood the test of time. Nena and Ray are in their 40's. They have three adult kids and five grandkids. Lucy and Dominic are my age and has four kids between the ages of 22 & 8 (i think thats the ages) and they even renewed their marriage vows recently. Whenever I go to their family get togethers, you can feel the love they all have for their spouses and see how their families are close nit. There are adults who got married later in life who dont have the connection that my friends have and whinned up getting divorced. I get a possitive vibe from my married friends and is very happy that theyve made it. Seeing Sally and Sal, Nena and Ray and Lucy and Dominic gives me hope that MY day will come.

Congrats to the young lovers who proved that their love is true, long lasting and real.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 16: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face...

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Nope!!!

Besides my sons and their father, Rick Ross, there's no such thing.

I believe in lust at first sight.

Dude walks past...

His scent...

His swagga...

His seductive glance he shoots in my direction causes me to soak up my secrets by victoria.

Lust... not Love... at first sight!

Love & Truth Challenge Day 15: I Dont Love Them Hoes!

Can you live without a love relationship?

Im sure there are people who might say that "i dont want your love!" "i dont need your love!" I know im not loved by all, but im loved by those who mean something to me, and I love them back. But to live a life without the love of my sons, family, friends, My God...

I couldnt imagine not having a heart... Nor could I imagine a loveless life. No hugs, kisses or words that fill your soul with endless joy.

Im not stressed off being single, because I refuse to settle just for the sake of saying that I have a man, but I need love so I can flourish and grow and return that same love that was given to me... To others.

I Love You!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 14: I Got Five On It {BITCH}

Recreate your most romantic date (a real one).

It was Valentine's Day 2011. The place was Fleming's Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar, located near L.A. Live in Los Angeles. It was 10 pm and the place was packed. Lights were dim and the table setting was nice. Even the menus were pretty. Before this place, the nicest restaurant ive ever been to was Red Lobster and Olive Garden...lol

*Before I continue with our date, let's rewind just a tad*

It was my turn to go visit my bitch, so I told him in advance to plan something nice for V-Day. Normally between thanksgiving and V-Day im cranky because im always single and surrounded by love struck couples. So this was the first time I looked forward to this day. I took $500 of my income tax money and got my hair, nails and what I was wearing that night. My dress was cute and I couldnt wait to be seen in it. He never told me where we were going until I got dressed and then my mouth dropped and I went off...

THE NIGHT CLUB?!?

I dont wanna go to the fuckin club! Single people go to the club and weez a couple now! I want to go someplace romantico for V-Day. Its 8pm.

So we drove... And drove... And drove. Parking near L.A. Live was $20 so his fat ass wanted to park wayyyyyy over der------->>>>

Im not walking 50 miles in heels! So I made him pay the $20. He was mad and walked ahead of me while we looked for a place to eat. I shot down every place he chose and we walked passed the club.

Dont even think about it!

Then @ 10pm, Fleming's caught our eye. The place was beautiful. We were seated and then they gave us the menu.

{GASPS}

Thats when I knew we werent going to eat. His lips said, "order whatever you want." His facial expression and body language pleaded for me to be quiet and dont order shit! We both knew he couldnt afford this place.

We ordered the following items:

•Fresh mozzarella and sweet tomato salad $9.50.

*it had 5 cherry tomatoes cut in half, 5 skinny strips of lettuce and 3 small pieces of cheese*

•One chicken breast $28.95.

•French fries and onion rings $8.95.

The romantic part was when we shared the meal. We laughed as we took pictures of our dinner. The salad tastes good and the chicken was melt-in-your-mouth delicious!

The night started off rough, but ended kinda cool. We held hands as we walked to the car.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day13: Do You Believe In Unconditional Love?

Do you believe in unconditional love?

Uhhhhhh.... Yeah!!!

See the pic of those two men right there? That right there is unconditional love. Raised them by myself. Can give me grief, gray hairs and headaches. But my love began when the doctor said youre pregnant! Aint that crazy? Dont know if theyre a boy or a girl or what they look like, but the second you find out the news, your motherly instinct and unconditional love kicks in. Even though your stomach will expand, feet will swell and your vaheena will look like all three world wars demolished your shit, you love them. Even when both of my sons were diagnosed with pervassive developmental dissorder (higher functioning on the autistic spectrum) my love for them never dimenished. I mean, its one thing to hook up with someone and fall in love, but you them for a reason. But your baby, no reason or limits for your love. My mom used to say when you have a baby, they lay in your arms and when they get older, they lay in your heart. I get that now.

I love GOD too! None of us hasnt seen him, but I feel him in my heart and He has had my back since I wad born! He has blessed me and my family and has continued to bless me through it all. Im not even saying through material things, but in my life period.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 12: Signs Of Love Making.

Do you believe in zodiac compatibility? Who is your best match from experience? Your worst?

*Sorry if I mislead you with the title. There is no freaky deakiness happening in this blog*

I'm a sagittarius, so im that FIRE sign! So you know what that means. I'm adventurous, full of life, I have to be the center of attention at all times and I have to be praised and admired at all times. Sadly, im not that successful in the love department.

Btw, Andrew Boyd would LOVE this topic.

*waves at Andrew*

My horoscope says that my matches are Leos, Geminis and Aries men and that I should avoid Virgos.

Do I believe in zodiac compatibility? I try not to bite into it, but I find myself looking in the newspaper or calling Andrew for his input on it. I dont want to misquote the bible, but I think horoscopes as well as tarod cards and psycics was a bad thing.

In my history dealing with men, I noticed that im always attracted to men who were born in October. Both of my baby daddies are Libras, my first love was an Aquarius, Joe is a Scorpio, Orlando is a Leo and my ex bitch is a Gemini.

No matter what your zodiac sign is, if you follow the rules to a successful relationship (trust, love, mutual respect), you should be fine.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 11: Love Don't Live Here Anymore.

Whom (no names, if you prefer) did you love who didnt love you back?


The story of my life...

I always wanted love, but it was never returned.

Some said that they loved me, but they had a funny way of showing it.

Then again, if loving me was fuckin other bitches, knocking them up and giving me chlamydia while i'm pregnant with your child, then I was showered with it.

I wanted to have a baby so I could have somebody who would love me back, no matter what I looked like or how much money I had. I loved my son, but that was a different kind of love. I was 22. What did I know? No regrets having him.

When Orlando (another dude I was seeing) expressed his "love" for me while enebriated, I thought he meant it, because after all, you speak the truth when youre drunk, right...

WROOOOOOOONG!!!!

I gave him the key to my place, because if we love each other, we should live together.

One night I called his sister's house looking for him. Her boyfriend answered telling me (as he laughed) that he moved to Reno.

*This nigga couldnt even say goodbye?*

When I called his mom, she said that he did move and he left my key with her. I was crushed.

So many times love was always on my side, but not on the other end. How hard is it to give me your heart? I promise not to break yours the way others stomped on mine. Just once can I be loved for me and all my goofy, crazy, dysfunctional, sexy in my own way, chocolatey-ness??? I dont ask for much. Love me! Dont hurt me! Make me happy! I dont want to cry myself to sleep from loneliness. Me, as well as the rest of my sisters and brothers who contribute to this love challenge wants to love and be loved!

Now I see why some of y'all passed on this blog.

*HMMMMMPH*

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 10: We Are Family!

List 10 people you love and explain what they mean to you?


There are alot of people who I love and care for. Sadly, I can only list 10, but just because your name isnt listed in my blog, doesnt mean I love you any less.

1. GOD!! Without HIM I wouldnt have been blessed with family, friends, good health and life.

2. Yvonne Stewart (1950-2006). My mom was my rock! She was God-fearing, very intelligent and loved by all. She was a great wife, sister, mom, auntie, grandmother and friend. She believed in killing you with kindness and if she needed to check you, she would do it nicely. She always carried herself like a lady. I miss her.

2. and 3. Joel Franco (19) and Jaylon Martinez (10). The two most important men in my life. The lights of my life. I couldnt imagine my life without them in it. They brought me joy, happiness, gray hairs, sleepless nights, headaches, heartaches and love beyond measure. I'm so proud of them.

4, 5, 6 & 7. Nicole Wiley, Micole Wiley, David Wiley Jr. and Nikia Stewart. My sisters and brothers. Since our parents passed away, we are all we have. We can have some knock down, drag out fights and shouting matches and get together for dinner afterwards. I love my dysfunctional family.

8. Darcus Williams. My best friend for 30+ years. Thats my sister, my partna in crime. She is one of the most sweetest people I know. My very best friend in the whole world.

9. David Wiley Sr. (1946-2009). My dad. We werent always close. Mainly because he wasnt around that much. If he was more of a positive fixture in my life, maybe I wouldnt be so slutty. I did love him though and im glad we spoke before he passed.

10. My 360 family. I dont care that we're on facebook. We will ALWAYS be Yahoo 360! Each one of my friends are my confidents, my e-shoulders to cry on, my besties, yall set me straight when im fuckin up, yall cheer me up at times, once in a while yall work my nerves, but all in all, I LOVE YALL!! Ive met Sharon and her family and i'll meet the rest of you one day. You guys are a BIG part of my life and im glad youre in my circle.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 9: I'll Make Love To You (Maybe)

Tell us about the first time you ever made love (not had sex).

Looking back I dont think I ever made love.

{record skips}

I dont know how many bootycalls ive had. Count the times on one hand that they would spend the night. Dudes would come over, cum inside of me and leave. For the record, no one made me fuck them. I guess I thought at the time if I fucked them real good they would stay.

I didnt have boyfriends, well, just a few. The few I did have, we just fucked. Ive never been held, eyes locked on each other, nothing.

Lemme take that back...

Whenever Joe would look into my eyes, I would look away. I dont know why, I just did.

One night, Orlando (another dude I liked) came over one night drunk. He was saying alot of random shit, then busted out with, "I love you, Lisa! I dont love LOVE love you, but I love you!" Then we made love•had sex•fucked?!.

*maybe that one didnt count*

I asked my ex bitch to make love to me. The first five minutes he gazed into my eyes, stroked my hair, kissed me gently, then fucked me.

I guess his definition and my definition of making love was different.

*deep sigh*

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 8: I Got Two Lovers And I Aint Ashamed.

Do you think you can be in love with two people at the same time?

Hmmmmm...

Probably not! There was a time in my 20's when I "said" I was in love. But how could I be in love when I fucked three dudes in one day?

*Dont worry folks! I did use condoms and I washed my ass between dicks*

I guess when there's two men involved and you cant (or wont) get rid of neither one, I suppose youre getting from #2 what youre not getting from #1. Either that or youre just being greedy. In a perfect world, we could put on our white coat and go to the laboratory, combine the nice guy with the ever nicer bank account, excellent credit scores and beautiful house with the bad nigga with street ways and a third leg for a penis (well maybe not THAT big) and create the perfect man.

I guess for some people it could be possible to love two at the same time.

I still have feelings for my ex bitch, but im fuckin his replacement. Am I in love with both? HELL NO! But since ole boy is thousands of miles away and the backup is minutes away, I just called and BAM... Dick in a box, delivered to my door. He had my supply and I demanded that he bring it to me.

Dont judge me! Men do it all the time!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 7: How Deep Is Your Love?

Have you ever been deeply in love? Explain?


Felt like it to me. Deeper than a poem written by Maya Angelou. Deeper than the tattoos in my skin. Or the fungus in my big toe. Deeper than the stretch marks engraved in my gutt. When I fall in love, I fall hard and deep into a pool of love's gushiness. I did all I could (in my mind) to make my man (when I have one) happy and to feel how deep my love is/was/whatever. Mines was deep enough that I spent 9 hours coming and 9 hours going on the Amtrak each month to see a mofo just for a weekend. Was the butt of countless jokes from my sisters, because he was beneathe my "standards" of who I normally date. I even cooked and cleaned.

*i'm NOT a domestic goddess, so that was MAJOR for me*

Me, being the man-crazy freak that I am, the chick who fucked and flirted with any penis that humped through, shut shit DOOOOOOOOWN!!! I was serious about my relationship! Serious enough to damn near contemplate putting ole boy on my lease, handing him over a key and living in sinful, fornicating bliss.

This close to erasing every number of my male sex buddies in my phone. Deleted my tagged and onlinebootycall accounts. Hell, I almost deleted my facebook.

{GASPS}

So deep, that even though dude had the dick the size of a tootsie roll, I kissed him on the cheek and I said, "its okay, Boo. LeeLee lubs you and your little nub. Its not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean. Papercuts hurt too, so get ova here and rock my world!"

*okay, I may have embelished just a tad, but you get the idea*

Friday, June 24, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 6: What Is Love?

What is your idea of true love?

*sidenote: did any of you notice that the title of my blogs are titles of songs?*


To me, true love shouldnt hurt. Your love for me shouldnt be determined by your family and friends. True love is loving me at 220 lbs the same way you loved me at 140 lbs. True love is loving me and MY beautiful. True love is loving me and all my perfect imperfections. True love is even when the outside world may make fun of my lazy eye and expanding waistline, you rub my belly while looking in my good eye reassuring me that im AWESOME. True love is never ashamed of expressing their love to you. True love is me being the only woman in your life and not having side pieces, jumpoffs or anything else. You feel it through your soul. It grows from a seed inside a little pot with dirt to a beautiful bouquet of colorful petals on long stemmed roses. True love melts your heart while smiling like a chestcat and skipping along giddily like a school girl reciting sappy love songs played on the radio. True love is the joy expressed across your face whenever you hear that familiar ringtone. True love is never going to bed angry and knowing that even if you and that true love of yours have a little spat, that you will be okay. True loves will work things out. True love is dreading to fall asleep at night because you dont want to miss one second of bliss, yet excited about waking up in the morning to receive true love's kiss. I can go on ALL DAY, but true love never disappoints.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 5: Beauty And The Beast

Favorite romantic movie?


Ive seen alot of great black romance movies that was chosen by my friends. Truthfully I didnt want to copy their choices. Since im a BIG kid at heart, the one romantic movie I like is Beauty And The Beast.

Its a tale as old as time. A curse was cast upon a handsome prince and was turned into a beast. He had to receive a kiss from his true love before the last pedal fell on the rose in order for him to change back. He and Belle had a rocky start, but at the end they found love, they got married and lived happily ever after...

THEE END!!!

*Y'all know imma little different ;-)*

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 4: Share My Life.

Favorite love song... And why?

I LOVE music! I eat, drink, sleep with it, fuck to it, breathe and live music! I couldnt imagine life silenced without it. Choosing one song is impossible, but there is one that im feeling right now. It truly touches my heart. The way he expresses his love for his lady, I dream that someone loved me that much. Me and my ex bitch saw him in concert last year. When he sung it LIVE and my man hugged me and held me in his arms, I melted.


Share My World by Kem


Makes any difference
I still love you girl
Youre my weakness
You changed my world

Share my life
Trust in me
Youre all I want
Everything I need (ooohh baby)

Makes any difference
I give you all my heart
Girl my sun sets
Anywhere you are

Maybe im a dreamer
Youre still my queen
Your love's like a river girl
Runnin' right through me

Share my life
You can trust in me
Youre all I want
Youre everything I need

Youre my dream and my joy
My heart belongs to you girl
So I sat down one day and
I wrote this song
Cause I need you in my world

Share my life baby

Hey girl, you can trust in me girl
Baby, youre all I want baby baby
Youre everything I need
Yeah, I really mean it baby
Hey girl, i'll give you what you want babe
Baby, hey if you want it you can have it
Baby its yours listen I want you right here in my world
Here in my life here in my soul
I want the world to know, that I need you
Baby, I believe you
Girl, i'll never deceive you
Share my life baby
Share my life baby
Share my life baby
Share my life girl
Share my life bayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yeah

Monday, June 20, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 3: Lovers And Friends.

Last/most recent love... What they meant/mean to you?

Anthony sent me a friend request three years ago. I accepted. He told me he's from Boston, but was about to move to L.A. and stay with his mom. He and his wife seperated. He was my bestie and we talked about EVERYTHING! He knew more about me then most of the men in my life. For two years he attempted taking our friendship to the next level. I wasnt interested because he had a girlfriend and there were things that bugged me about him. Whenever a guy looks like he's getting serious about me, I usually panic and try to sabotage things by finding any excuse NOT to hook up. He had a front tooth missing from when he was in a car accident years ago. He was hella dorky, but in reality I was scared. I told him the truth, that I didnt know if I was hooking up with him because I truly had feelings or because I was lonely.

I went to visit him spring break of last year while I brought my son to disneyland. We hung out, then my clothes fell off...lol. He wanted to hang out with us that week, but I lied and said I had other plans. Even after I went back home, he still wanted us to be together. He even broke up with bis girlfriend. Yeah, I know that was wrong. I told him if he wasnt serious about a commitment with me, I dont even want to go there.

Now I officially have a man and it was nice! We alternated visiting one another each month and I never had to come out of pocket for nothing. With him taking me out, the PDA's, meeting his mom and planning our future together, I didnt know how to take that. I was so used to dudes coming through at night to fuck me and not acknowledging a bitch in the daytime, the normal stuff he did seemed foreign to me. I mean, he wanted to color coordinate our clothes when we went out... HUH?!? Just as things was working out...

He was M.I.A.

He wouldnt call or answer my calls for a whole week and had lame ass excuses when he did. What I did to the ex chic came back on me and I was crushed! I found naked pics of her in his phone, she would call and I found out he was still fuckin her. Karma is a BITCH & she bit me in the ass! When I got tired of the back and forth, I left him alone and he moved to Florida three months ago...

Or so he said.

Even though he lied countless times as much as he cheated, for the past year, he did make me feel wanted, loved and happy that he wanted to be seen with me on his arm. And for the first time, a man told me that he loved me. Whether or not it was true, only God knows.

Love & Truth Challenge Day 2: There's A Right And A Wrong Way To Love Somebody.

Question: Best love... What they meant/mean to you?

Answer: I met Joe 17 years ago. I was 26 and he was 23 and fresh out of college. Me and my friends were regulars at this night club and so was him and his friends. He asked me to dance one night and I said no. Joe was NOT my type. (it changes often...lol). He was 5 ft 11 and 300 lbs. My type of dude at the time was tall, slender and bald. He was persistant, so I finally said yes. Didnt know he was one of the best dancers at the club. Each time we went to the club, he was there and we would dance all night. This time, it was a slow jam. Red Light Special by TLC. Our eyes met and it was a WRAP! We exchanged phone numbers and we dated for 6 months, then our time together decreased. He was VERY goal oriented, with working and coaching football. I didnt like the fact that we werent spending alot of time together like we used to.

One night at the club the shit hit the fan. He was in some other girl's face. When I asked him about her, he said she was just a friend. I started asking other people around the club and it got back to him. We argued, he told me to go home and when I refused, I was shoved to the ground with my dress flying up. I was pissed and got up swinging. His cousin saved me from getting my ass beat. I left the club and keyed his brand new car on the way out. Police was called, but it was my word against his. After that, things were never the same. We would still see each other off and on, but it was just a sexual thing. He got married a couple of years ago, but we were still an item until I cut him off recently. He married her and dont even love her. I asked him one day why did he get married and he mention everything except for love. He never had any children.

He meant alot to me because he had respect for me in the beginning. He introduced me to his family and tried getting me to go to church with him, but I was on some other shit. We were young and had different things going on. He was focused on his career and I was still a party girl. I wasnt that clean with my house and that was one of our issues. He's not speaking to me right now, because I wouldnt have sex with him. Like he said, they talked about a future together. I dont think wifey would appreciate him seeking pleasure from another woman.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 1: Love, Where Art Thou?

Question: First love (of course)... What they meant/mean to you?

Answer: This is going to be the most difficult blog challenge for me. Out of all my years on this earth, ive never TRULY experienced love. Its always been one sided. I can write all day about sex, but love, that will be as difficult as birthing a child. I will be as truthful as I can.

With that being said....

My first love I met when I was 19. Me and my friend double dated with Luis & Sparky (that was his real name). They set chacha up with Sparky, but she didnt like him. Sparky and I hit it off.

We dated for 4 months before we became intimate. He was white and that made things hard. His dad was prejudice and the guys in my neighborhood didnt approve. Chacha wasnt happy either. only because she thought he was broke... Until he got a new car. She had her chance.

I would meet him at her house and we would all go out as a group. One night he drove up and she hopped her fat ass in the front seat. I told her to move to the back, but she refused. When he told her to move to the back, she was pissed...lol

We dated for a year and a half when he decided to enlist in the army. Our last night together I cried and told him I wouldnt see him again. He assured me we would, but I knew deep in my heart we wouldnt. I just knew he would meet someone else.

Boy, was I wrong.

I received a call from his brother that he died in a car accident while visiting his family in Texas. He said that Sparky wrote me a letter, but I never got it.

I talked to his mom on the phone and she said she wanted to meet me. He told her all about me.

We met and we exchanged pictures and cards. We watched a video of him during christmas (he died the next day at the age of 23), then she turned it off and said that she video taped the funeral and adked if I wanted to watch it? I declined, saying I wanted to remember him the way he was.

He meant alot to me. I lost my virginity to him and I did love him. I dont know if he loved me, but I know he did care and he was a good man in the making.

Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out.

R.I.P. Sparky G. Rowan
February 18, 1966-December 26, 1989

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 30: Poetic Orgasms

COME HERE DADDY
I WANT TO LEAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING IN YOUR EAR
SOMETHING SENSUAL THAT YOU NEED TO HEAR
ABOUT YOU AND ME AND OUR SEXUAL FANTASIES
I WANT TO BLOW YOUR... MIND... WITH POETIC ORGASMS
YOU KNOW THAT I'M VERY... ORAL.
SWIRLIN' DIRTY WORDS IN MY MOUTH LIKE A PATRON SHOT
DOIN' THOSE FREAKY THINGS THAT GETS YOU HOT
I SPREAD MY VERSUS OUT ON THIS SHEET
LIKE I SPREAD MY LEGS... I'M A LITTLE FREAK
GETTIN' IT IN 7 DAYS A WEEK
YOU MAKE ME WEAK IN THE KNEES WHEN YOU GET ON YOUR KNEES
CAN WE HAVE A MENAGE TROIS?
JUST THE TWO OF US AND OUR TORRID THOUGHTS
THE WORDS I WHISPER IN YOUR EARS WILL MAKE YOU DROP YOUR DRAWLS
IT GETS HARD... REAL HARD...TO PUT MY WORDS IN ORDER
BUT I CAN THROW THEM ON YOU LIKE MY LEGS OVER YOUR SHOULDER
DIGGIN' DEEPER INTO MEMORIES OF PASSION AND EXTACY
ORALLY GRATIFIED AND SATISFIED... YOU AND ME
LETS CREATE OUR OWN BOOK OF KARMA SULTRA
OVER 69 WAYS TO PLEASE YOU ON MY SOFA
TANTALIZING WITH MY TONGUE I AM WHEN I SPIT
MUTUAL FOREPLAY WITH YOUR DICK AND MY CLIT
MENTALLY VISUALIZING YOU TAKING ME THERE
POUNCING ON MY ASS WHILE YOURE PULLING MY HAIR
MY VERSES ARE EXPLICIT AND GETS YOU REAL HOT
SURGES THROUGH YOUR BODY TIL I HIT THAT G SPOT
FEELING YOUR KISSES AND EMBRACES AND EXCHANGING FUCK FACES
HOT, SWEATY AND OUT OF BREATH AS YOUR HEART RACES
CLOSE YOUR EYES AND REMINISCE FOR A BIT
IMAGINE THESE SOUP COOLERS SUCTIONING ON YOUR DICK
LICKING AND SUCKING AND STROKING THAT PIPE
I AM THE REAL DEAL...PLEASE BELIEVE THE HYPE
I CONTINUE TO CLIMB ON TOP OF MY POETRY GAME
ALL THESE MOFOS ARE GONNA KNOW MY NAME
LET ME LEAVE YOU WITH A THOUGHT SO I CAN DRIVE YOU WILD
MY HIPS AND BOTH LIPS WILL HAVE YOU CRYING LIKE A CHILD
TEARS OF ASTONISHMENT, AROUSAL AND DISBELIEF
I BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT THAT I COULD MAKE YOU SKEET
I'LL TAKE YOU ON A POETIC RIDE OF YOUR LIFE
SKILLS SO GOOD, YOU'LL WANT TO MAKE ME YOUR WIFE
AS I COME TO THE CLIMAX OF THIS SPOKEN WORD
I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU FELT THE WORDS THAT YOU HEARD
MY POETIC ORGASMS WILL HAVE YOU WEAK AND SHAKEN
BUSTED ANOTHER HOT ONE... THANKS TO MSBEHAVIN'



COPYRIGHT 2011. LEELEE AINT MSBEHAVIN'

Erotic Truth Day 29: Sexual Chocolate.

Question: What makes you sexy to YOU?

Answer: MY sexy comes from all five senses.

Sight: Have yall laid your eyes on all this sexual chocolatey deliciousness? From my beautiful brown eyes, to the cleavage of my double D's that peek through every now and again, to my buttery brown skin oozes sexy.

Sound: My voice along with my poetic words has harden more then a few mens lower regions.

Scent: Bathe in sensual suds then sprayed with an arousing aroma that sends erotic chills down the backs of those who were blessed to take in my scent.

Touch: Silky smooth skin along with my mountain-like breasts and curves of a REAL woman who, even tbough I may not have the flat washboard stomach of a super model, my rolls gives you something to grab onto. Gotta have that support for those late night bumpy rides.

Taste: When my tongue slivers inside of your mouth, the taste of my chocolate kisses puts you in a trance and be forwarned...

When your tongue journeys down to my pineapple flavored punany, you WILL be paralyzed with pleasure.

Add all of those five senses with the confidence of an african GODDESS...

Thats what makes this poetic beast sexy.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 28: Beat The Pussy Up!!!

Question: If you could get your hands on some dick/pussy right now, how would you want it?

Answer: That "She's Single" video and song by Raheem DeVaughn comes to mind.

I want him to hit it, Hit It, HIT IT... Like a hockey stick!

Or like Jody in Baby Boy...

Hittin it from behind, got me screamin, "I LOVE BIG DADDY'S DICK!"

I want him long, thick and hard! I want it from sun up to sun down!

I want him to beat my pussy up...

Make a bitch wanna mind somebody...

Devour ole gurl right before he knock these walls down...

Pull my hair while he wearing my ass out from behind...

Oh, he would get a treat too...

He will be sucked (pop rocks)
He will be fucked (good pussy)
He will be fed (more good pussy)

Fall asleep to fuckin and wake up to fuckin.

Erotic Truth Day 27: Sharing Is NOT Caring!

Question: Your man/woman likes to have sex with the same sex. Are you willing to invite this into your bedroom? Why?


Answer:

We've gone over how I dont like sharing...

Gone over how if youre gay to stay away...

Why would I let my dude bring a dude in our bed?


#GTFOH.

Erotic Truth Day 26: THE FUDGE FACTORY IS CLOSED!!!

Question: Anal sex? Are you anal about it?

Answer:

Done it...

Not that crazy about it...

Would rather prefer penetration in my special no no place than my HELL TO THA NAW WAH place.

Okay people, lemme paint a picture:

Remember that time you were constipated? I mean REALLY plugged up and you were finally able to pass something after a few days. When you did, it felt like you were giving birth. Your asshole damn near split.

So now you wanna ram your shit into my ass?!?

I dont understand! I thought after the shitty time you had with being constipated (pun intended) I thought you would be a little more symphathethic...

*looks at the pic*

Obviously not!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 25: My juice box spillededed!!!!!

Question: What motivates you to hit your orgasmic peak during a masturbation session?

Answer: I'm in a VERY fragile state with my celibaciness...lol.

Anything gets me to where I need to be.

Just looking at the pic posted of my purty hamhocks gets me excited! Probably because I know that there's liquid gold running between those thighs.

I have to resort to letting my little stubby fingers rumble through my jungle, since I killededed all of my toys.

*R.I.P. to mini red hot, my rabbit and the G-Man*

{Cry}

Reading one of Joy's erotic poems or blogs doesnt help matters.

*Puts plastic on my furniture*

Have a very sexy song on repeat.

Watch the old homemade movies of me and my ex bitch... Or any porno for that matter.

If all else fails, close my eyes and picture Rick Ross naked, while he ravages me.

{GOOOOOOOOOSH}

Erotic Truth Day 24: A Freak Like LeeLee?!? Maybe Not!!!

Question: What's your definition of freaky?

Answer...


Cause I will be a freak
Until the day... Until the dawn
And we can pump, pump
All through the night til the early morn
Come on and I will take you
Around the hood on a gangsta lean
Cause we can pump pump
Any time of day its all good for me

--Adina Howard "A Freak Like Me."


Freaky, to me, is someone who is willing to do it anytime, anywhere, willing to do anything, possibly with anybody.

Am I a freak?

*thinking about my freak number*

I'm definitely NOT a prude!

But then again, after blogging about 3somes, orgies and bukkake, i'm not THAT freaky either.

But i'm willing to try some things.

I kissed a girl once, but I didnt use tongue.

One of my fantasies was to have a 3some with two other dudes, but when my fuck friend brought his guy friend to the no-tel motel with us, I went the fuck off.

I'm a STRAIGHT woman, but at times I find myself lusting after other women.

I've recently enjoyed the consumption of my ex bitch's nectar, but my gag reflex prevents me from deep throating his joystick.

With all of that said, my freak number is between 7-8.

Erotic Truth Day 23: I'M THE MAMA!!!

*Dom/sub... Sexy or just an excuse for men or women to abuse?*


Ive read and heard a few stories on this topic and I came to the realization that I dont like being told what to do. Not only that, ive been dogged out so badly by men that I wouldnt trust a nigga giving him that much power.

Tie me up, blindfold me and have me in a helpless position just to embarrass me by video taping me and posting it on youtube for all to see...

Uhhhhh... NO!!!

There's a dude on my fb whose a Dom (not mine) and I have a couple of friends who are subs. There are alot of rules to being a sub (I assume) and I would probably get my ass beat, because I have a smart ass mouth. If daddy told me to do something I dont like I might forget and tell a nigga to suck my dick!

So to each their own, but for me, i'll have to pass the whip!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 22: Swing It Thataway----->>>

*Swinging... Your thoughts?*


This is going to be a VERY short blog...

LeeLee doesnt share the following:

•My cocoa pebbles
•My cranberry grape juice
•My penis(s)

I'm VERY possesive and I will punch you in the throat if you touch my shit! I dont even share with my kids!

I was an only child for nine years, so its not my fault.

STAY OUTTA MY YARD AND PLAY ON YOUR OWN DAMN SWING!!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 21: Msbehavin's Mood Muzik.

*Make a music playlist you would like to get busy to... (name of artist, title of song, why you chose it)*


Since I dont have internet at home and im doing EVERYTHING from my phone, im not able to post a playlist from the website. But what I WILL do is make a ghetto list of my own.

Raheem Devaughn:

•B.O.B.
•Single (watch the video on youtube and you'll understand why)

Marsha Ambrosius

•With You
•Gettin Late
•Say Yes

D'Angelo

•Untitled (How Does It Feel)

Prince

•Insatiable
•Adore
•Darling Nikki

Chris Brown

•Wet The Bed
•No Bullshit

Isley Brothers

•Make Me Say It Again Girl

*I can go on all day*

All of those songs take me there (some more than others).

Monday, June 13, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 20: Tooted & Pooted!

*Tell a story of your most embarrasing sexual experience*


One night my ex came to town because he was on an interview panel interviewing people for a open position at his job for a couple of days. So I met him at his hotel room.

I had one too many drinks and cant quite remember all of the events for that evening, but flashes of a couple of moments do come to mind.

I vagely remember riding on top when all of a sudden I flatulated. Not normally an issue, except for this time I felt something slip...

Ran to the bathroom and...

Ummmmmmm...

I'm sorry! I cant continue with this story. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out the rest.

*wipes, flushes, & washes hands as I run away*

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 19: Would You Like Some Sake?

*Bukkake? Your thoughts?*


LeeLee didnt know what this term meant, so she decided to google it.

Urban Dictionary

Origin: Japan

Variety of fetish that involves repeated ejaculation on a female by many men.

So lemme get this straight...

You want LeeLee to be your cum bucket?!?

HELL TO THA MUTHA FUCKIN NAH!!!

LeeLee has sensory issues!!!

She wants you to fuckie fuckie...

Not splash her face with your sake!!!


{Drops mic}

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 18: Menage ooohh weee!!!

*Tell a sexual triangle short story*

I was caught in the doorway between my date and the thick chick...

{Recap}

*walked in on an orgy in progress at my date's house and I got busted*

My date standing behind me whispered in my ear...

"Would you like to join us in my room?"

I looked at my date, then looked at the thick chick, then I watched the orgy (btw, they never even noticed I was there). Kinda nervous, but at the same time my nipples were hard and my pussy was screaming, TRY IT!!!

As I blushed, I nodded in agreement.

Thick chick took me by the hand and led me to the room while my date followed behind.

I stood there as she lit some candles. My date had a california king sized bed and his bathroom had a hug tub. He filled it full of water and bubbles. Thick chick approached me...

"Are you okay?"

I replied, "ive never been with a woman before."

She held my hand as she smiled.

"Are you okay with this?"

"Yes!" I whispered.

My date kissed me while she slowly got me undressed. She led me to the tub and we both got inside. I was on top of her and we began to kiss and fondle each other. My body became hot when she inserted her fingers inside of me. She sucked on my breasts while he was behind me kissing my neck. He sat in the tub and I sat back on his thick throbbing dick. He fucked me from behind and me and her was chest to chest kissing.

We all went from the tub to the bed. She lay on her back while I lay on top of her. That was my first time ever having oral sex with a woman. Her pussy was sweet and fresh. I took her in my mouth while his tongue was in between my ass cheeks. I almost lost it. Then I could feel his dick penetrating. The more he fucked me, the more I ate her. I dont know who came harder, me or her. I never thought I would love her pussy as much as I craved his dick diving deep inside my walls. I rode him while he ate her. Then we switched to him fuckin her while I rode her face. That continued off and on for the rest of the night.

I'm glad I listened to my pussy's screams, because I would have missed out.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 17: So, You Like Beans & Franks Too?



Question: You walk in your bedroom to find your lover deep in the sexual act with the same sex. What would you do?

Answer: They would both die a long, miserable and painful death.

Its bad enough women have to compete with other women who may have better bodies, longer hair and whatever else, but another man...

Hell Fuckin Nah!!!

If you like men, then thats who you should seek. Its 2011 and its acceptable and you dont have to hide your sexuality. I refuse to be your test dummy!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 16: Aint No Fun If Da Homies Cant Have None.

*You are invited to a party that turned into an orgy, you just arrived... What would you want to see?*

Went out to dinner date with a friend. He invited me over to his house for a drink and I accepted.

"My roommate is having a get together, so if you want, we could have our drinks on the patio if you want."

"I dont mind." I added.

It was a warm night with a light breeze.

After a couple of drinks, I asked where the bathroom was, so he pointed it out.

I fixed my makeup and washed my hands. Walking out of the bathroom, I heard moans down the hall.

Curiousity got the best of me when I saw a partly opened door...

I peeked inside and noticed a naked man sitting in a chair holding a camcorder. Mouth opened as his head jerked back...

Walked further in the room to see a long haired light skinned woman on all fours, giving him what looked like the best head of his life.

And behind her was another well built man with a handful of her hair tugging it as he entered her from behind. Beside him was a thick chick waiting for her turn as he had her breasts in his mouth...

I stood there awe struck, not knowing what to do when...

*tap tap on my shoulder was my date*

"I see you met my roommate."

Thats when the thick chick looked over my direction and smiled...

Then she walked towards my direction...

I was caught in the doorway between my date and the thick chick...

... To be continued.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 15: TOUCH IT!!!!

Question: Have you ever been caught masturbating or having sex? Tell the story.
Answer: Me and my cousin took a weekend cruise to Encenada...
{Papas Y Beer}
*Flashback... Sowwy*
We came in from clubbin' one night and went to sleep...
She did anyway.
I was watching tv when they got to a heated sex scene that got me in the mood :-p
Lights were off, except for the light from the tv screen, my right hand went under my blankee and my fingers explored in my special no no place and I was happy about life until...
I noticed my cousin's eyes were open 0_0...
I pretended to be sleep, but I dont think she bought it o_0.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 14: Public sex: Do or dont?

I remember that time me and my ex went to the park one night. He took it on the picanic table...

It was funny because days later my sister told me that her friend said she saw her fuckin her dude at the park the other night. Me and my sister look alike. So did my dude and hers...lol

They didnt believe I would do such a thing because I have my own place ;-p

There was another time when I fucked dude in my backyard...

* I guess im an outdoorsy chick after all*

The excitement of possibly being watched and the gentle breeze blowing through my asscrack made me cum even harder.

That was in my late 20's/early 30's.

Couldnt do it now because I work with kids and I dont wanna catch a case.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 13: {GASPS} What restraining order?!?

*A fantasy you know you will never fulfill*

The court issued restraining order states that there wont be a Ricky_LeeLee_Sappy sammich in my future.

{CRY}

Nah, but seriously, I hate sharing, so more than likely I wont be doing any 3somes.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 12: I want 3some, please!

*A fantasy you want to fulfill*


I'm not asking for much...

I just want to be the meat in between those two slices of wheat bread...

Ricky_Fuckin_Ross and Warren Sapp...

With all the fixins...

Smash em together and eat em up...

*Mmmmmmmm*

'Nuff said!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 11: Is it in yet?

You've known me long enough to know that imma give it to you straight... with no chaser. As bad as it may hurt, you need to know the truth.

I've never been one to "fake it" and I never will, because how will you ever learn if i'm not telling you? But there were those few episodes where you didnt get it.

I'm the type of bitch to where if it was good, you WILL know by my actions; movements, sounds, gestures. If you took me there, hell, everybody would know. Like the time my neighbors knocked on the wall because...

Oh, that wasnt you.

OOOHH... OOOHH... I know! That early morning moaning when you were fuckin me while you had that mini rabbit in my clit and I screamed so loud that I scared the kids and...

OOPSY... That wasnt you either?!?

Okay, looka here...

I will NEVER fake it, but keep in mind if i'm laying there DEAD still like i'm a corpse or i'm so quiet that you could here crickets churping, chances are me no likey.

Like that time you were on top and I laughed in your face and the only way I got through it was when you hit it doggy...lol

Or those times i'd lay there motionless and you would say, "stop holding back! Let it go!" And I would say, "I'm not!"

I meant that because... YOU SUCKED!!!

Once in a while it was... Aiight. But it was a hit or miss with you and i'm at a point in my life where I need a mutha fucka to take me there, give me something I could feel, dick me down so good that you got me down on one knee proposing marriage while handing over my ATM card...

You know what i'm sayin'.

Those are the reasons why my number rarely appears on your caller I.D. I could only imagine that the truth had to hurt deeply, but it had to be said, so you could take notes and do better with the next chick.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Erotic Truth Day 10: I wished I didnt...

*A letter to the person you regret screwing... Tell em how you really feel...*


Dear *******,

As I sit here in deep reflexion, I thought about the many mistakes ive made in my life. If I knew then what I knew now, my life would be so much different. One of my biggest regrets is letting you in.

I should have never accepted your friend request three years ago. If I had of declined, I wouldnt have never allowed myself to get comfortable with you. If I had of said no, I would have never shared my secrets with you. If I had of logged off, I would have never gave you my body and heart to you. If I had of known what you were really about, I wouldnt be here writing you this letter about my regrets.

I wished I never fucked you. Normally I can have sex and not get attached. But you played the game so well and swung that dick a little too swell that I lost all sense of reasoning. Too blind to see that you were a hoe who never had my best interest in mind. All you gave was empty promises and now you ruined it for the next man who would possibly be "The One." Now im keeping my legs closed and my heart guarded, because I dont think I could take another heartbreak.

I hope youre proud of yourself. Just remember that you have daughters who may possibly meet a dog like you. Karma is a bitch and the things you did to me will come back to bite you in the ass.

Goodbye.