Monday, June 20, 2011

Love & Truth Challenge Day 3: Lovers And Friends.

Last/most recent love... What they meant/mean to you?

Anthony sent me a friend request three years ago. I accepted. He told me he's from Boston, but was about to move to L.A. and stay with his mom. He and his wife seperated. He was my bestie and we talked about EVERYTHING! He knew more about me then most of the men in my life. For two years he attempted taking our friendship to the next level. I wasnt interested because he had a girlfriend and there were things that bugged me about him. Whenever a guy looks like he's getting serious about me, I usually panic and try to sabotage things by finding any excuse NOT to hook up. He had a front tooth missing from when he was in a car accident years ago. He was hella dorky, but in reality I was scared. I told him the truth, that I didnt know if I was hooking up with him because I truly had feelings or because I was lonely.

I went to visit him spring break of last year while I brought my son to disneyland. We hung out, then my clothes fell off...lol. He wanted to hang out with us that week, but I lied and said I had other plans. Even after I went back home, he still wanted us to be together. He even broke up with bis girlfriend. Yeah, I know that was wrong. I told him if he wasnt serious about a commitment with me, I dont even want to go there.

Now I officially have a man and it was nice! We alternated visiting one another each month and I never had to come out of pocket for nothing. With him taking me out, the PDA's, meeting his mom and planning our future together, I didnt know how to take that. I was so used to dudes coming through at night to fuck me and not acknowledging a bitch in the daytime, the normal stuff he did seemed foreign to me. I mean, he wanted to color coordinate our clothes when we went out... HUH?!? Just as things was working out...

He was M.I.A.

He wouldnt call or answer my calls for a whole week and had lame ass excuses when he did. What I did to the ex chic came back on me and I was crushed! I found naked pics of her in his phone, she would call and I found out he was still fuckin her. Karma is a BITCH & she bit me in the ass! When I got tired of the back and forth, I left him alone and he moved to Florida three months ago...

Or so he said.

Even though he lied countless times as much as he cheated, for the past year, he did make me feel wanted, loved and happy that he wanted to be seen with me on his arm. And for the first time, a man told me that he loved me. Whether or not it was true, only God knows.

12 comments:

Icnonlybme said...

Well Sis, we live and we learn. At least it was good while it lasted and you know what it feels like to be treated well, even for a short time. Expect more from the next one and there WILL be a next one!

LeeLee Aint Msbehavin' said...

I'm done! Wont do the relationship thing no more.

The God'ess said...

You'll do another relationship. It's not in a woman's genetic makeup not to want to share her love with someone. I know, I'm one to talk after that last fiasco I was in but I truly believe that love will come again...but don't tell anybody I said that. ;)

LeeLee Aint Msbehavin' said...

I wont

Reggie said...

Leopards don't generally change their spots. They might throw some paint on occasionally....but they just can't change their spots.

Thee_Kween said...

*eying God'ess up there...writing this down* LOL

I agree though. You learned what is possible and that's better than never experiencing it. Now that you've got a standard...you can build on it. Take the time for yourself, but never close off your heart. It's not natural. ((HUGS))

As the Budda Flows said...

you will discover true love again one day its gonna sneak up on you and bite you in the ass. we have spoken at length about this and like it old you he was an asshole and he didnt deserve you. Mr. Right may be right up under your nose and you will never know til you open up that big heart and let him in. Be very cautious but dont put up the wall so high noone can get to your heart.

LeeLee Aint Msbehavin' said...

I noticed that

LeeLee Aint Msbehavin' said...

I will try (((((HUGS)))))

LeeLee Aint Msbehavin' said...

Thank u Budda

Flesh~b4~Soul said...

OH my goodness, I love these BLOGS!! Where is this coming from?? anyhoo...

You know, as women, I sometimes think that we don't see each other as fully as we could or should. Maybe it's a female thing?

I believe I have told you a few times that I am in awe of your words, Life with your boys, and You have to know I have always seen you a FIRECE!!! With that said, I have seen your heart with your family, and boys, and in love,
But Leelee.. Lovely woman, in this blog, I saw your heart as a woman!!
and it is suchhhhhhhhhhhhh a beautiful thing to see, again, I am in awe, and know this please. You will love again, and you will in time find the one who will fill that heart of yours without question. Much love and Peace to you dear friend!!!

HUGE Hugs

LeeLee Aint Msbehavin' said...

(((((HUGS))))) Thank u sis.