Love & Truth Challenge Day 1: Love, Where Art Thou?

Question: First love (of course)... What they meant/mean to you?

Answer: This is going to be the most difficult blog challenge for me. Out of all my years on this earth, ive never TRULY experienced love. Its always been one sided. I can write all day about sex, but love, that will be as difficult as birthing a child. I will be as truthful as I can.

With that being said....

My first love I met when I was 19. Me and my friend double dated with Luis & Sparky (that was his real name). They set chacha up with Sparky, but she didnt like him. Sparky and I hit it off.

We dated for 4 months before we became intimate. He was white and that made things hard. His dad was prejudice and the guys in my neighborhood didnt approve. Chacha wasnt happy either. only because she thought he was broke... Until he got a new car. She had her chance.

I would meet him at her house and we would all go out as a group. One night he drove up and she hopped her fat ass in the front seat. I told her to move to the back, but she refused. When he told her to move to the back, she was pissed...lol

We dated for a year and a half when he decided to enlist in the army. Our last night together I cried and told him I wouldnt see him again. He assured me we would, but I knew deep in my heart we wouldnt. I just knew he would meet someone else.

Boy, was I wrong.

I received a call from his brother that he died in a car accident while visiting his family in Texas. He said that Sparky wrote me a letter, but I never got it.

I talked to his mom on the phone and she said she wanted to meet me. He told her all about me.

We met and we exchanged pictures and cards. We watched a video of him during christmas (he died the next day at the age of 23), then she turned it off and said that she video taped the funeral and adked if I wanted to watch it? I declined, saying I wanted to remember him the way he was.

He meant alot to me. I lost my virginity to him and I did love him. I dont know if he loved me, but I know he did care and he was a good man in the making.

Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out.

R.I.P. Sparky G. Rowan
February 18, 1966-December 26, 1989